Lessons from the Last Depression

Now that the first economists to identify the recession are labeling it a Capital-D-Depression, it's time to look how past generations dealt with what we're facing. From my exhaustive search of Wikipedia, I located four previous economic "downturns" we could compare to today. These four other points in our nation's history all include a war, a drop in employment and a lack of consumer confidence. I'd also say they all featured a drop in available financing. But each had its own unique, creative approach for recovery, at least with respect to the common man (or woman).

Let's face it: the Stimulus Plan, as excited as bureaucrats and economics professors might be about it (negatively or positively), doesn't do a whole lot for us here on the ground worried about our paychecks day-to-day. And neither did any of the preceding plans, if they existed, excepting perhaps The New Deal. People forget how enormously unpopular the New Deal was at the time of its inception. But, then again, People are dumb.

Here's a look at how Americans handled this sort of situation and any lessons we might learn from past experience:

1780's: The Revolution, widthdrawl of English financial support and massive trade blockades limited growth for a while. Plus, our country was only 1/5 the size it is now; lack of resources hindered recovery. On the other hand, we had those kick-ass wigs. Wigs were so popular, they named a political party after them. So we had wigs going for us. And frock coats.

Back then, the best way to pull yourself up out of debt seemed to be to disappear into the woods of Kentucky (the Wild West of the day), clear yourself some farm land and raise a few meager crops. Or make wigs. Or buy Louisiana. Modern day equivalent: hydroponic closet "gardens," hair plugs and buying the 9th Ward.

1820's: The War of 1812 (aka, the British Are Coming, Part Deux), international instability via Napoleon, and, shockingly, more trade blockades. In the positive column, we had some rockin' pirates. I think we had given up wigs at that point, but Andrew Jackson kind of made up for it in the hair department. The man was a poster child for the Flo-bee.

Economic recovery in those days centered on the Industrial Revolution, the cotton gin, creation of the World's Worst National Anthem (thereby giving us all something to complain about other than a lack of indoor plumbing), extensive railway construction and the birth of Canada. Since Canada's already born, I'm thinking we could re-write the national anthem. Maybe with a catchy hook by Elton John.

1860's: The Civil War, the failed Reconstruction, labor abuses spawned by the Industrial Revolution and oh-so-much more caused a significant depression. Deep distrust still divided our country after the war, but we did gain Puerto Rico and Hawaii. We tended to find whipping boys during this time of economic hardship, mainly African and Native Americans (both Jim Crow and the reservation system got their start at this point).

To reach the Roaring 20's, we invented the telegraph and began pillaging our "abundant natural resources." As we've kind of run out of the latter and already tapped out the former, we could potentially invent a new way of communicating (**meep meep** "Beam me up, Scotty") or we could, um, invade Canada. I hear they still have "abundant natural resources."

1930's: The first World War and the stock market crash. Inept leadership and isolationist politics. Profligate corporate culture and a disenfranchised populace. Now we're talking! Ok, so how did we fix that one? Massive government stimulus? Check. Another war on the horizon? Check. Discovery of fuel in the Middle East? Um, I'll get back to you on that one. Industrial modernization? Check. The "Can Do" innovative spirit that characterizes everything wonderful about this country? ...

There are lessons to be learned from the Great Depression. Other than, of course, Don't Do That Again. Too late for that one.

1. Mobilize people in great big groups. People like to feel like we're all chipping in together, like the CCC and WPA. We have Americorps, the SPCA, Habitat for Humanity, the *insert name of local volunteer army here* just hanging around waiting for an opportunity for action. We can't let them get bored. That's how scary revolutions, abstinence-only education and prohibition get started.

2. Hands off the bankers/investors. They got themselves into their stupid-*ss situations, let them get their stupid *sses back out. I don't need any more credit cards or a home loan I can't afford, so just stop treating them like spoiled children with boo-boos.

3. Correctly identify the problem. What do we remember about the Great Depression? Bread lines and 25% unemployment. Not so much the mortgage meltdown or the run on the banks (all of which also happened). People need jobs before they can be consumers or home owners or savers or debt-runner-uppers, which all the pundit seem to think we need. Jobs. I want my job so much, I work overnight. I know a lot of people who do. I also know a lot of people who would kill for my job, overnight or not. Provide the jobs and you prevent them from starving, prevent them from collecting government assistance, earn income tax for the government, and keep them too busy to foment rebellion. Unless you're me. I always have time to foment something.

4. When all else fails, jump a box car. Thanks to the 1820's, I always have that option. I hear hobos are a happy, friendly, inclusive bunch.

Another One Bites the Dust...

Almost. According to Moody's yesterday, Loehmann's clothing stores will soon be joining the ranks of the financially insolvent. Funny how that happens when businesses are held to the same credit standards the rest of us schmucks have to live by. But Loehmann's? The loss of a great international chain of bargain-bin designer-label pantyhose shills signals a fundamental shift the basic life processes of the American people.

Seriously, how did these people stay in business in the first place?

I have several traumatic childhood memories of visiting Loehmann's with my mother in the 1980's and possibly 90's. If you are a woman over the age of 25, with a depression-era female relative, you probably have the same post-traumatic stress syndrome symptoms.

Loehmann's contributed to the negative body images of young girls everywhere by providing, not the traditional minuscule, poorly-lit individual changing rooms, but one, giant, communal, mirrored-in-the-round, poorly-lit changing room. An octagon of terror without the chain-link fencing. On numerous occasions, I and my sisteren (??) were exposed to the lumpy, calcified flesh of anonymous elderly ladies, those with no decorous sense of modesty. These ladies bared all (and I mean all) to the harsh assessment of those wrap-around mirrors, the ones that allowed no escape for small children hiding behind the returns rack. Garters, stockings, brassieres, "support garments" of all shapes, compositions and styles, I think a corset or two (and not the cool types, either), hairy legs and crotches, the horrors unfolded in a slow-motion ballet similar to the elephant scene in Fantasia sans cuteness.

Admittedly, it has been many years since I approached the hallowed halls of Loehmann's (which may be their problem), so they might have subdivided the Octagon of Dystopia into traditional changing rooms. Perhaps, in an attempt to boost flagging sales, they abandoned the 1930's in favor of something slightly modern: privacy.

Still, if a cheaper version of TJMaxx can't make it in today's economic climate, we must be headed down a slippery slope.

RIP, Loehmann's, RIP.